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Conservative Political Commentary

Quote of the Day

Lady Liberty

Give me your tired, your poor,
Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free,
The wretched refuse of your teeming shore.
Send these, the homeless, tempest-tossed, to me
I lift my lamp beside the golden door.

Thursday, September 02, 2004

Convention Musings
posted by Tom

The week of hate in New York ends tonight. Madison Square Garden isn't a square at all, but a circle of hell filled with those filled with hate. One speaker after another was chosen precisely for his or her hatefulness.

McCain's Real Enemy

Take John McCain, for instance. Hateful. Once he was the sweet POW Democrats had hoped would become John F. (for "Filled with Love") Kerry's running mate. Just think, the voters would have had all Nam all the time to use against the hateful draft dodger George W. Bush and his hateful VP, Deferment Cheney.

Alas, liberals, who like Anne Frank naively see the basic goodness in every human heart, misjudged John McCain. He turned out to be just another Republican spewing hate, meaning that as a Republican he spoke to other Republicans at the Republican National Convention about why the Republican George W. Bush should be re-elected, implying hatefully that he thinks the Republican George W. Bush (who tonight, in the ultimate gesture of hate and contempt toward everything decent in liberal culture, will hatefully accept the hateful nomination of his hateful Party and make a hateful speech to boot) is preferable to the Democratic nominee, John F. (for "Fun Loving") Kerry. Well, kinda sorta, because the hateful McCain really doesn't think the loving Kerry would make a bad president, it's just that he thinks the hateful Bush is a better one. Maybe. McCain hatefully reaches out to the other side, because neither party - not the hateful Republicans nor the compassionate and loving Democrats - has a monopoly on truth (though the Republicans have a monopoly on hate). They just see the world differently. As McCain hatefully said in his hateful speech Monday night, "We are Americans first, Americans last, Americans always. Let us argue our differences. But remember we are not enemies, but comrades in a war against a real enemy."

Yes, John, the real enemy: Swift Boat Veterans for Truth.

Do the Party a favor. The next time a Democrat considers you for a running mate, accept.

"Dey vant four more years uf hellll!"

I had a vision of Zsa Zsa Heinz-Kerry screaming this at her TV during Arnold Schwarzenegger's speech. And her husband laughing hysterically.

"Nice convention. Be a shame to let anything happen to it."

Rudy Giuliani did a pretty good job of setting himself up for '08. Of course, everyone will probably be a little apprehensive about him running for President. Anybody else get the nagging feeling that if elected his first executive order would be to move the nation's capital back to New York? I liked the line in his speech that "the first Republican Convention ever held in New York City [is] a statement that New York City and America are open for business and stronger than ever." No, it makes a statement that the Republicans wanted to shamelessly exploit 9/11. Something which I, personally, have no problem with since the Democrats shamelessly exploit every freaking thing else all the time - the unemployed, the homeless, the elderly, and this year they return to one of their hot hits of the 60s and 70s, Viet Nam. You had to find liberal pundits' beating their chests over the Republicans "exploiting our national tragedy" a hoot. These are the bozos who salivated over every leak from the Democratic members of the 9/11 Commission that put the blame for the terrorists attacks on Bush. These are the clowns who couldn't get Richard Clarke's manhood deep enough down their throats when he published his 'memoir' describing how the Bush Administration failed to continue the successful strategy against Islamic terrorists put in place by Clinton: Bomb Yugoslavia. The praise heaped on Clarke in The New York Times and other left wing rags after he apologized to the 9/11 families for Bush's allowing their relatives to die wasn't "exploiting" the attacks for political purposes, was it?

Speaking of Italians and the Presidency, where once stood Michael Moore's consigliori, Mario Cuomo, now stands Rudy Giuliani. Cuomo enjoyed his 15 seconds of wanna be presidential fame at the millionaire Socialists Convention in 1984. Remember how his early draft of what would become John Edwards' "Two Americas" nonsense had the left wing Democrats in the San Francisco convention hall dropping to the floor and speaking in tongues? If I'd had a dollar for every liberal pundit that suggested Cuomo run for President, I could have been one of the rich who were the sole beneficiaries of Reagan's tax cuts. Ever see Cuomo now? He looks like he's perpetually auditioning for a role in Goodfellas II.

Now the Republicans are swooning over Guiliani. I hope he doesn't get his hopes up like Cuomo did. Giuliani's the consummate charmer, I'll give him that, whereas Cuomo is and always has been the consummate crepe hanger. Giuliani's the uncle that cheers you up with jokes and anecdotes as you lie in a hospital bed with tubes sticking out of every part of your body. Cuomo's the uncle who has you dead and buried when all you have is a cold. Alas, Giuliani's chances of becoming President in this lifetime are about as remote as Cuomo's were, well delivered and well received convention speeches notwithstanding. When it comes to the Presidency, while Americans tend to vote for class and smarminess equally, we don't do ethnics at all.

Then again, we've never really had the choice. Unless you count Lieberman, the Jewish guy the Democrats tried to get in through the back door back in 2000. But even in his case, the anti-Semitic liberal Democratic base, particularly its indispensable African-American constituency, was voting only for Gore, playing the odds he wouldn't croak in office. Had they counted all the votes of convicted felons and the dead in 2000, thus landing Gore in the White House, and had he gone on to win a second term this year, Lieberman would never have succeeded him in'08. Jesse Jackson, Al Sharpton, and the rest of the Jew haters would have made sure their followers stayed home on election day. Lieberman knows this, which is why he feels relatively safe playing the conservative Democrat nowadays. He has nothing to lose, as reflected in his primary numbers this year.

Dumb and Dumberer

No, this isn't about Kerry-Edwards. I'm referring to Henna and Jenna Bush and their successful attempt at embarrassing their grandmother on Wednesday night. Know what? I had no problem with their performance whatsoever. As a matter of fact, I wish I could have reached through my television screen and bitch slapped Monsignor Mort Kondracke and Father Fred Barnes, the two Fox pundits who stuttered and stammered their way through the most tight sphinctered example of why conservatives have the reputation for being ... Well, tight sphinctered when it comes to contemporary culture and the dumbness, goofiness, and silliness of the young people in it.

Oh, gee, guys, two young and not too bad looking chicks of privilege acted like two young and not too bad looking chicks of privilege. How dare they? They're Republicans. Their father is a born again Christian. Their mother was a school teacher. Their grandmother has white hair. What were they thinking?

Not about you two farts, I can tell you that. They weren't up there to win over their father's conservative base. They were up there to charm young guys between the ages of 18 and 25 who fantasize about threesomes. Just like the Kerry daughters you unfavorably compared the twins to were trotted out as eye candy for the slightly older guys at the Democratic love fest.

Mort and Fred, refresh my memory: Which classier, more mature, more sophisticated Kerry daughter bared her teats at the Cannes Film Festival?

I hope the Bush daughters get married during their father's second term. To Iraq war veterans. Preferably guys from the 82nd or 101st. Whose buddies bring their own kegs to the reception held on the White House lawn.

posted by Tom | 9/02/2004 12:21:00 PM
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Post a Comment

Blogger Tom Grey said...

Oh, I just hated all this hate in your hate-filled post about those hated Reps and how they hate all the Bush-haters. Or am I mixed up -- I hate that!

6:54 PM, September 03, 2004  
Blogger ALa said...

Tom -Of course you would get it! I am so sick of hearing about how the Bush girls shouldn't have been there! They were there to giggle and be cute and try to bring young faces (that just appeared in Vogue) to the GOP -throw around some 'pop culture' references -so prospective young republicans know that you don't have to listen to country music to maintain party membership --and that it's OK for conservatives to watch Sex and the City and listen to Outkast. They were great at what they were there to do.

10:10 PM, September 03, 2004  
Blogger Frater Bovious said...

*wide grin*

Loved, er hated your post! That was very well put, and only slightly exaggerated. Thanks for reminding me to define myself in terms of hatred! hah.

11:09 AM, September 04, 2004  
Blogger ~Jen~ said...

I loved your post. Does that make me a hater? Or am I a lover of haters, or a hater of lovers, DAMN! Did I just flip flop?

I feel an identity crisis coming on.


4:38 PM, September 04, 2004  
Blogger redleg said...

As a guy in the 82nd...bring it on.

At least it will be a hell of a bachelor party!

7:14 AM, September 07, 2004  

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