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Conservative Political Commentary

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Lady Liberty

Give me your tired, your poor,
Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free,
The wretched refuse of your teeming shore.
Send these, the homeless, tempest-tossed, to me
I lift my lamp beside the golden door.


Tuesday, October 05, 2004

When you have a war to win, trust Amana
posted by Tom

AP - The Air Force expects planes will be able to fire non-lethal microwave rays at enemy ground troops with the help of a new superconducting generator system developed at Wright-Patterson Air Force Base after about 25 years of research. Heavy, inefficient generators have been a hurdle to the development of airborne microwave weapons, which create a disabling burning sensation...

United States Air Force Microwave Weapon Sample Keypad

Select Function:

Auto Defrost - 1
Attitude Adjustment - 2
Stun - 3
Incapacitate - 4
Maim - 5

Select Enemy Group

Islamic Fundamentalist Protestors - 1
Radical Islamic Fundamentalist Protestors Burning American Flag or American President in Effigy - 2
Radical Islamic Fundamentalist Terrorist - 3
Horde of Radical Islamic Fundamentalist Terrorists - 4
Cannes Film Festival Attendees - 5

Select Target Area:

City Block - 1
Desert Terrain - 2
Ammo Dump Masquerading as Mosque - 3
Urban Area Controlled by Enemy - 4
Hollywood, CA - 5

Note: Extremely large, concentrated enemy targets (e.g., Sadr Militia holed up in above mentioned mosques, Michael Moore, Dan Rather's ego, etc) require longer microwave times at the highest settings.

posted by Tom | 10/05/2004 01:29:00 PM
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Blogger Rob said...

I like this new weapon very much!

10:57 PM, October 05, 2004  
Blogger ALa said...

Would this be one of John Kerry's 'weapons that don't kill' allowing us to wage peaceful wars?
Very funny post -as always...

9:03 AM, October 09, 2004  
Blogger Cigarette Smoking Man from the X-Files said...

It's about freakin' time they get this weapon going. Generators schmenerators. I want those mosque-squatters COOKED and CRISPY and I want it YESTERDAY.

Bring me the charred remains so I can douse 'em in beer and pork fat before throwing 'em in a sewer.

...ahem... sorry, I was in war-fighting mode there for a bit. Channeling LTC Bill Kilgore (the Cav commander on Apocalypse Now)...

7:53 PM, October 09, 2004  

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