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Conservative Political Commentary

Quote of the Day

Lady Liberty

Give me your tired, your poor,
Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free,
The wretched refuse of your teeming shore.
Send these, the homeless, tempest-tossed, to me
I lift my lamp beside the golden door.


Tuesday, December 21, 2004

"Twas the Christmas After the Election"
posted by Tom

(C'mon, it's Christmas. You knew one of us had to do this.)

'Twas the Christmas after the election, and all through the White House,
Bushies were celebrating, but in the Blue States Democrats groused;
The election returns were counted with care,
The loss in November left the Dems in despair.

All the limo liberals lay smug in their beds,
With dreams of apocalypse dancing in their heads;
And Michael Moore, wearing his stupid baseball cap, whined at his web site, “This election was a bunch of crap!”

Out of the TV there arose a lot of chatter,
Mainstream liberal media turned its biased eye to the matter.
”The Republicans won everything!” they cried from the tube. ”The country ignored us, can anything be sadder?”

The gloom of media Democrats descended like a black curtain:
”We lost the presidency, the House and the Senate, our party’s hurtin’ for certain.”
Then, what to their wondering eyes should appear,
But exit polls showing moral values decided it this year.

The liberal establishment’s judgment was quick,
It took less than a minute to blame Red State hicks.
More rapid than eagles their opinions they came,
As they pouted, and shouted, and rattled off their losses with shame:

"Poor Daschle! Poor Kerry! Maybe it was the tape by Osama. Whatever, we have to console ourselves with the token Negro, Obama!
From the front porch to the suburban mall!
For Republicans they voted, for Republicans all!"

As checks written by Kennedys do fly,
To the families of young women whose silence they buy,
So into the newscasts and editorials liberal post-mortems flew,
Bemoaning the nightmare of Republicans in power, but dreaming of Hillary in ’08, too.

And then, in a twinkling, and without any proof,
Came the paranoia of the usual goofs.
Bush extended his hand, his second term coming around,
But cries of “Fraud!” from liberal morons came with a bound.

They peppered Bush with slurs from his head to his foot,
”The election returns were tarnished, a page from Karl Rove’s playbook!”
A bundle of shit they flung at the wall,
Hoping mainstream liberal media would take up their call.

Their eyes -- how they bulged! Their theories how many!
They were the usual liberal whack jobs, whose penchant for nonsense was uncanny!
The drool from their mouths was copious in its flow,
Cockamamie conspiracy theories are all that they know.

They found a soul mate in an Olberman named Keith,
The smoke blown out his ass on MSNBC encircled his head like a wreath;
He had the lowest IQ you could find on the telly,
So this schnook is a natural to question the election tally.

He had company among network chumps, he wasn’t by himself,
Tom, Peter and Dan doubted the returns, too, in spite of themselves;
A wink of the eye and a twist of the head,
Told liberal faithful Bush’s victory was something to dread.

Speaking meaningless words, their nightly work,
They read press releases from Moveon.org and the DNC, the usual jerks.
Conservatives shook their heads and laughed,
Wondering how these people could be so daft.

But ‘tis the season to be jolly, of peace, love and joy,
So forget the dirty tactics the lefties employ,
And let them hear you exclaim, ere you bid them good night,
"HAPPY CHRISTMAS, LIBERALS, FROM THE WINNERS ON THE RIGHT!"

posted by Tom | 12/21/2004 02:05:00 PM
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Blogger ALa said...

This is awesome Tom! Where have YOU been?!

9:21 PM, January 06, 2005  

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