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Conservative Political Commentary

Quote of the Day

Lady Liberty

Give me your tired, your poor,
Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free,
The wretched refuse of your teeming shore.
Send these, the homeless, tempest-tossed, to me
I lift my lamp beside the golden door.

Thursday, November 18, 2004

Who needs parody when you've got the real thing?
posted by Tom

Dean Criticizes News Media. YERHHHHH!

You would think the Democrats, known for their sensitivity to human suffering, would have the compassion to shoot the morons in their party and take them out of their misery. In their endeavor to search their souls for faith and hope in order to win the hearts and minds of those evangelical red state rednecks, the Democrats had better not forget charity. And one of the most charitable acts they could perform in the wake of their election embarassment is to euthanize the brain dead Howard Dean.

Case in point is from something called the Yale Daily News:

Dean '71 Criticizes News Media

Former Vermont Gov. Howard Dean '71 [yes, they really put the graduation year of alumni in the headlines and leads to the stories, like they're proud of it or something], a former candidate for the Democratic presidential nomination, spoke Tuesday at Yale about the shortcomings of today's print media and the importance of an ethical media in a working democracy. In the symposium, titled "The Media and the Election: A Postmortem," Dean stressed corporate ownership of the media and the increased focus on entertainment as problems with today's media, and he emphasized the importance of diversity and regulation in fixing these problems....

"The media is a failing institution in this country," Dean said. "They are not maintaining their responsibility to maintain democracy"....

The solution to restoring an ethical media, Dean said, is to ensure diversity and cap corporate ownership of media outlets. He said he supports government regulation of media ownership. "[The media] are incapable of regulating themselves," Dean said. "What's at stake is our democracy..."

Understand? Dean's plan to restore our news media's status as independent watchdog over our democracy is government regulation. If that's not scary enough, consider the fact "Dean received a standing ovation and an enthusiastic response from the audience." Such is the state of higher education in America.

Dean wants to chair the DNC. Cool. If the Democrats keep this up, I could run on the Republican ticket in '08 and win in a walk.

Where all da white women at?

I hear ABC's attempt at improving race relations in America went over like the proverbial lead balloon. I haven't watched Monday Night Football since Howard Cosell left us to announce bowling matches in heaven...

Huh? You mean that isn't what causes thunder? Well, what did you expect? I voted for Bush.

Anyway, I missed the original broadcast of Mandingo Meets The Bimbo, but I didn't really need to see its premier on Monday night given the fact it has been replayed 47,000 times since then. I have two short takes on the whole thing.

First, I must say how much I admire the network for yet another brilliant manipulation of the cultural Carrie Nations among us who stand ready to lower the FCC axe on any and all prime time sex. They are so shocked - shocked - that ABC resorted to "softcore porn" to market an inane TV series that they have to keep replaying the promo over and over so that everyone who was fortunate enough not to see it will not be deprived of the pleasure of being revolted, thus giving ABC and its suburban housewives version of HBO's Sex in the City even more (ahem) exposure.

If I counted correctly, Fox's The O'Reilly Factor and Hannity & Colmes replayed the promo at least 24 times between them on Tuesday and Wednesday night. Next week, if not sooner, ABC will get the inevitable scolding, and (we hope) final inadvertent plug from the Media Research Center's L. Brent Bozell. Then life can go on as usual, until ABC or another network needs ratings and we get another glimpse of bare tits, lascivious jungle fever or what have you in prime time.

Which brings me to my next point.

My jaundiced eye not only looks with envy upon ABC's marketing strategy, it widens in awe at the nework's unabashed racism. Only media liberals could get away with what ABC pulled off here. This promo would have been more appropriate before an NHL game since it scored a hat-trick in terms of offending viewers: In addition to the above-mentioned conservative Republican heirs of Will Hays, ABC managed to zing the hated Bush red staters by manipulating what the Kerry blue staters who work at the networks perceive as their Klanish misegenation fears, and reinforced the stereoype of the talented, wealthy Black male lusting after the white blonde trophy, which insults not only Black men, but Black women as well. Some OJ anyone?

Classic stuff, you have to admit.

And what better time for this latest example of white liberal racism and stereotyping to appear than this week? George W. Bush selects Condoleezza Rice as his Secretary State and the party of racial piety and diversity is clogging the airwaves and opinion pages with their condescending dismissals of her abilities and accomplishments, plus we have the grand opening of the William Jefferson Clinton Presidential Library and Topless Bar.

A Black female Republican appointed Secretary of State?! Hell, in a Democratic administration, she would have been just a secretary entrusted with scheduling the President's blow jobs.

C'mon, you gotta laugh at liberals and Democrats or you'll cry.

If I were a Brit, he'd get my vote. Well, you know what I mean.

The following quote is not a parody, but the predictable reaction of liberals in Great Britain and America is sure to be:

People think they can all be pop stars, high court judges, brilliant TV personalities or infinitely more competent heads of state without ever putting in the necessary work or having natural ability. This is the result of social utopianism which believes humanity can be genetically and socially engineered to contradict the lessons of history. - Prince Charles

That popping sound you hear is that of the blood vessels in the brains of the AFT, NEA, and The New York Times editorial board, among other PC liberals who, in the words of Jack Nicholson, can't handle the truth.

Alexander the Fabulous

So, Oliver Stone's vision of Alexander the Great is that of a flamer as hot to redecorate Darius's royal tent as he was to wipe out the Persian king's army:

"Dar, Dar, those rugs. And that urn. Tsk, they simply have to go. So does your head."

In a Playboy interview promoting his latest non-historical epic, Stone piously intones:

"Alexander lived in a more honest time. We go into his bisexuality. It may offend some people, but sexuality in those days was a different thing. Pre-Christian morality. Young boys were with boys when they wanted to be."
It's evidently slipped cokehead Stone's burnt out mind that, post-Christian morality, young boys are with young boys when they want to be. So are young girls, for that matter. I'll never understand what it is about these Hollywood idiots that they sincerely believe America is a torture chamber of repression where homosexuality is still the love that dare not speak its name. Doesn't this asshole have a cable subscription?

Oh, well, what do you expect from a druggie who upon accepting the Best Director award for his 1980s Viet Nam fantasy Platoon lectured the audience on how he wanted to portray the reality of war, how it wasn't romantic or exciting, how it maims and kills. It was the realism of soldiers dying in slow motion striking a cliche crucifixion pose while Vivaldi played in the background that earned him the Oscar.

But Stone has always been a filmmaking rebel and so cutting edge. Jeff Robinov, president of Warner Bros production, warns us he doesn't "know how people are going to respond" to Alexander, "but I know Oliver didn't run from who this guy was."

I'll bet a lot of other guys in the Macedonian army did.

posted by Tom | 11/18/2004 06:44:00 AM
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Friday, November 12, 2004

"Yasser, that's my baby. No, sir, I don't mean maybe."
posted by Tom

From the James Earl Carter Center for The Very, Very Stupid, we have the following heartfelt remarks from the ex-President and Jew hater as he laments the death of his favorite Jew-killing terrorist, Yasser Arafat:

Former US President Jimmy Carter calls Arafat a "powerful human symbol"

MIAMI (AFP) - Former US President Jimmy Carter called Yasser Arafat "a powerful human symbol and forceful advocate" who united Palestinians in their pursuit of a homeland.

"Yasser Arafat's death marks the end of an era and will no doubt be painfully felt by Palestinians throughout the Middle East and elsewhere in the world," Carter said.

"He was the father of the modern Palestinian nationalist movement. A powerful human symbol and forceful advocate, Palestinians united behind him in their pursuit of a homeland," he said in a statement distributed by his Atlanta, Georgia-based Carter Center.

He said that while Arafat provided "indispensable leadership to a revolutionary movement" and played a key role in forging a peace agreement with Israel in 1993, he was excluded from negotiations in recent years.

"My hope is that an emerging Palestinian leadership can benefit from Arafat's experiences, be welcomed to the peace process by (Israeli) Prime Minister (Ariel) Sharon and (US) President (George W.) Bush, and be successful in helping to forge a Palestinian state living in harmony with their Israeli neighbors," Carter said.

Both Carter and Arafat are Nobel peace prize laureates.

Arafat, who died at a Paris hospital early Thursday, was to be buried at his West Bank headquarters after a military funeral ceremony in Cairo Friday.

Carter "will not be attending the funeral," said Jon Moor, a Carter Center spokesman.
Forget what prompted Carter's eulogy, the death of yet another of history's murderous losers from that part of the world, and focus instead on what has always been his long-term goal. I'm sure you're as moved as I am that Jimmy holds the sunny hope of a Palestinian state living in harmony with the Israel that Arafat and his "people" were still devoted to destroying even while their fearless leader was cowering in his Ramala shithole shuffling the millions he's looted among his Swiss bank accounts. After all, they believe all of the land is "Palestine" and, hey, they're "Palestinians", ergo ...

But we have Carter, a guy who pats himself on the back for brokering a "peace" deal between Egypt and Israel that got Anwar Sadat shot to pieces by a bunch of raghead fanatics. Now, do you think Jimmy might've sat back after Sadat was turned into a pin cushion, put two and two together and concluded, "Well, heck, I get the feelin' them A-rabs don't like the idea of peace with the Zionist Hebes - er, I mean, the Israelis." Not our boy Jimmy. No, sir. See, practically running the United States into the ground with double digit inflation and interest rates wasn't enough of an accomplishment. Nor was allowing Iran to kidnap our citizens and turn us into a laughing stock in a region of the world where bathroom tissue and indoor plumbing are viewed as Satanic (this event also motivated ABC to create Nightline, so we can blame him for that, too). Nor was dumbly watching as the Soviet Union waltzed into Afghanistan. Nor was fighting off killer rabbits. None of it was enough of a legacy, because Israel, the only democracy in the Middle East that stood between us and a bunch of screaming maniacs who would still be scratching their heads wondering what that black stuff was bubbling up out of the sand were it not for western know-how, existed. He had to work tirelessly to ensure that the so-called Palestinians, the fictional oppressed people created by the United Nations to legitimize its hatred of Israel, ended up with a state entitled to European financing (and American foreign aid if only an anti-Semite like Jimmy could get in the White House again) with which it could arm itself to the teeth and wage a real war against the Zionists with a real army instead of the rock throwing morons and suicide bombers they've had to depend on these many years.

It's scary enough to think that a segment of our population once elected this idiot President. But, okay, we survived (barely) his unfunny joke of an administration and moved on. Still, he's there. At election time, or whenever the US takes it upon itself of late to confront tin horn Muslim dictators who have done everything short of begging us to kick the shit out of them, you can find Jimmy's face plastered on TV gravely explaining how we're "inflaming" the camel jockeys. Keep it up and, hell, they'll keep attacking us the same way they did before we bombed the crap out of them. Worse, they'll stop immigrating to the US. Not only will that leave us with a shortage of cab drivers overcharging passengers and with boarded up 7-Elevens across the country, we'll be deprived of the prospect of having our very own Bosnia or Chechnyna in another 10 years or so.

Arafat was nothing more than the father of modern terrorism. I was dreading his death not because I feared the "Arab street" would rise up - they barely "rise up" to go to work - but because I knew it meant the fucking mainstream media would turn to Carter en masse for one of his pious statements.

Which they did.

I suppose I can look at the bright side: After Arafat, there aren't any terrorists with whom Carter enjoyed a personal relationship that would require one of his public eulogies when they die. When Saddam and Usama croak, he can mourn in private. Thank God, because I've about had it with seeing his prune face. From 9-11, throughout the conflicts in Afghanistan and Iraq, during the Democratic National Convention and the election itself ...

It's like, I don't know, the country got a bad case of herpes in 1976 and it just keeps recurring.

posted by Tom | 11/12/2004 07:30:00 AM
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Tuesday, November 09, 2004

Among the other brilliant decisions made in history...
posted by Tom

Howard Dean Considering Bid To Chair Democratic Party
November 08, 2004
MONTPELIER, Vt. (AP) Former presidential candidate Howard Dean is considering a bid to become chairman of the national Democratic Party.

Steve Grossman, himself a former chairman of the Democratic National Committee, said Dean had told him he was thinking about it.

Dean was traveling today in New York and unavailable for comment. His spokeswoman, Laura Gross, said ``it was far too early to be speculating on that.'' The 240 members of the Democratic National Convention will elect a new chair early next year. Several names are already being mentioned, including former Clinton aide Harold Ickes; Donna Brazile, who ran Al Gore's presidential campaign, and Iowa Governor Tom Vilsack.

Dean has been outspoken since the beginning of his presidential bid in saying that the Democratic Party must establish a separate and unique identity from Republicans.

The next chairman will replace Terry McAuliffe, whose term is ending.


May, 1876 - Lt. General George Armstrong Custer, flamboyant Civil War hero and commander of the 7th Calvary, is seriously considering a showdown with Chief Sitting Bull's Sioux sometime this summer, probably in the Black Hills, a source close to the general has revealed. "Worried?" the source said incredulously when asked if the men were apprehensive about facing such a formidible foe. "What the hell for? It ain't like we're fightin a real army," the source said.

April, 1865 - President and Mrs. Lincoln are seriously considering a visit to Ford's Theater this week to see the highly acclaimed production of Our American Cousin. A family friend said the President had told him he was thinking about it. "It's been awhile since the President and his wife have had a night out," the friend said.

April, 1912 - Captain Edward Smith, White Star Line's most seasoned officer, is seriously considering taking command of the company's newest, largest, and most luxurious liner Titanic for it's maiden voyage from South Hampton to New York. "It's a terrific opporuntiy," a spokesman for White Star Line said. "He will be retiring soon, and what better way to conclude a distinguished career than on this mighty and unsinkable ship ..."

July 1811 - The Emperor Napoleon is seriously considering an invasion of Russia at some point in 1811 or 1812, according to palace sources. The Emperor could not immedately be reached for comment, but a source close to the Empress Josephine tells Le Grande Bouche that she overheard the Emperor tell his wife he can't wait to "kick some Russky a--".

March, 44 - Julius Caesar, fresh from his victories over Crassus and Pompey and adored by the citizens of Rome, is seriously considering accepting the offer to become supreme ruler over all the empire and will discuss his options when the Senate reconvenes this week. According to Marc Antony, friend and confidant of the proconsul, "Caesar's been looking forward to seeing his old pals Brutus and Cassius and getting their take on this whole emperor thing. He's always respected their input." Marc Antony also offered that Caesar has always been open to their criticism, as well. "They can be quite cutting," he said, "but Caesar can handle it."

posted by Tom | 11/09/2004 11:55:00 AM
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Saturday, November 06, 2004

Am I a Genius or What?
posted by Bathus

In my pre-election projection I got every state right except one, Wisconsin, which I picked for Bush:
Bush wins all his 2000 states except New Hampshire, and he adds New Mexico, Iowa, and Wisconsin to his column to win the electoral vote 296 - 242.
But hang on just a dern second . . . the latest unofficial tally shows Bush trailing in Wisconsin by less than twelve thousands votes out of some 2,992,390 votes cast. That's a margin of less than one half of one percent.

Sadly, I had not anticipated the depths to which the Democrats would sink to deny me the honor of a perfect prophecy. I'm talking about the Democrats' Wisconsin campaign of intimidation. It appears that Michael Pratt (who just happens to be the adult son of former Milwaukee Mayor Marvin Pratt) and Sowande Omokunde (who likes to go by the name Supreme Solar Allah and just happens to be the adult son of Wisconsin state senator Gwen Moore) were somehow involved in allegedly slashing the tires of 20 vans that Milwaukee Republicans had rented to ferry their voters to the polls. A Milwakee paper is reporting that:
Milwaukee police are thoroughly investigating the slashing of tires on election day of 20 cars and vans rented to the Republican Party to take voters to the polls. Opel E. Simmons III, veteran Democratic Party activist from Virginia, in town to work on Sen. John Kerry’s presidential campaign, has been arrested in connection with the incident, along with Sowande Omokunde, the son of state Sen. Gwen Moore, who was elected to Congress Tuesday. Both were released. Sources told the Journal Sentinel that police also plan to talk to Michael Pratt, the son of former Acting Milwaukee Mayor Marvin Pratt.
Do the math: You gotta figure each of those 20 vans could have made four trips per hour to the polls during the twelve hours the polls were open, with ten Bush voters aboard for each trip.
20 vans x 12 hours x 4 trips per hour x 10 voters per trip
9,600 disenfranchised Bush voters
That leaves Bush only a couple of thousand votes away from Victory in Wisconsin, and we haven't even started talking about the allegedly-late-arriving military absentee ballots that were probably thrown into the dumpster two minutes after the polls closed.

According to the Wisconsin State Election Board, the official Wisconsin results won't be known until "after the canvass is certified by December 1, 2004." Between now and then--and the sooner the better--we need to parachute a couple of divisions of Republican lawyers into Madison and fan them out into all the various county seats to secure the ballots, to file a few hundred lawsuits, and to do whatever else election lawyers do to ensure that John Kerry doesn't try to steal Wisconsin's ten electoral votes.

It's vital that all the votes in Wisconsin be counted, and there's something even more important at stake here: Dammit, I picked Wisconsin for Bush, and now Kerry's criminals are trying to unustly prevent me from being hailed as the most perfectly prescient political prophet. We can't let them get away with it. I've waited four years for this, and I can sure as hell wait another couple of months, or however long it takes, to guarantee that the people of Wisconsin are not denied their rightful voice in our electoral process.

Every vote must count. Every vote must be counted.

posted by Bathus | 11/06/2004 05:24:00 PM
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Friday, November 05, 2004

This is just too much fun ...
posted by Tom

One Idiot Goes Into Semi-Retirement None Too Soon

It would be pathetic if it weren't so funny. Or it would be funny if it weren't so pathetic.


Jimmy Breslin, the decomposing Newsday columnist who built a career of facile social and political commentary on the fact he received letters from a crackpot serial killer back in the 1970s, submitted his last regular feeble attempt to sound like he knows what he's talking about to the magazine on November 2nd. Because the stupidity expressed in his swan song is so exquisite, I had to reprint it in its entirety and with no other commentary beyond this modest introduction.

Why Kerry will beat Bush

One day last May, I assigned the election to John Kerry. I said it early, and often. As I looked more, I saw that it shouldn't even be close. I said that in this space more than once. Now I am so sure that I am not even going to bother to watch the results tonight. I am going to bed early, for I must rise in the darkness and pursue immediately an exciting, overdue project.

Besides, if I was up, so many people, upon seeing every word I said of this election coming true on television in front of them, would be kissing my hands and embarrassing me with outlandish praise. So I go to bed with total confidence. I will get up and stroll to other meadows. I invented this column form. I now leave, but will return here for cameo appearances. And I leave today as the only one in America who from the start was sure John Kerry would win by a wide margin. Let me tell you why.

This began when I noted that it was obvious, but overlooked that George Bush had lost the last election by 500,000 votes. He was close enough in Florida for it to be stolen in court.

The reason he was close was that Ralph Nader had 125,000 votes in Florida, most of whom would have voted for Gore.

Anybody who had voted for Gore four years ago would never vote for Bush.

So Bush started this campaign behind 500,000 votes.

Nor is there Nader. He has reduced himself to being the village idiot.

When I figured in the people shocked by the dead bodies of young Americans in Iraq, and brutalized here by unemployment, there was no way to make the election seem close. I said this in this newspaper several times.

Each time as I was typing, the words of the late great Harry (Champ) Segal kept shouting in my ear:

"Go naked on this one!"

When published reports showed a million new voter registrations in Florida and about 800,000 in Ohio, I made the election a lock. They were not rushing out for George Bush. And these poll takers were ignoring them. Any part of a million votes in Florida, most of them of color, would sweep the state.

The reporters said the nation was divided. They were afraid to say anything that might upset this view. You've been had by the news industry. Not once, even after the first debate when Kerry scored a technical knockout, did they take a step and call it as it happened. "War of Words" was the closest they could come.

Finally, one thing kept clawing at you. Cell phones. Long I have wondered how many there were. Everybody I know, smart people, politicians, news directors, thought that there were, oh, 40 million or so. I call the cell phone institute in Washington last Sept. 12. They told me that there were 165 million cell phones in use in the United States, That is 165,000,000. One month later, I asked again. It was up to 170 million -- 170,000,000. Yes, a great number also had land lines. But of this 170 million cell phone users there were 40 million between the ages of 18 and 29, and these people usually have no other phones.

That had to be Kerry.

Not one cell phone in the United States had been reached by a political poll. These old-line poll takers don't know who cell phone users were or where they lived.

So you were getting CBS/New York Times polls proclaimed as most important and real. One hundred seventy million cell phones and you don't poll one of them. The polls they are pushing at you in the news magazines, on the networks, in the big papers, are such cheap, meaningless blatant lies, that some of these television stations should have their licenses challenged.

They have a poll number for every one of the "battleground states." I'm awaiting the casualty list from Gettysburg.

Then a night or so ago, somebody finally tried a poll of cell phone users between the ages of 18 and 29. John Zogby conducted the survey in conjunction with Rock the Vote and the results showed Kerry at 55 percent and Bush at 40.

Then the Kerry people ran their own poll, which took a lot of work. It was the first time they had reached any cell phone users. The result was Kerry 59 and Bush 39.

Then I saw on television yesterday, and I hate to single him out, but he singled himself out, this fellow Bill Schneider on CNN and he is their election expert and he said that cell phones didn't mean anything. He's right. They didn't mean anything in 1950.

Oh, but these young people never vote, the tales read. They will this time, and because of a one-word issue.


Every time Bush, or one of these generals he has, stands up and says there will be no military draft, everybody young figures this means there probably will be one by January, which will put them in the real battlegrounds. They rush to register, and then today they go to the polls to vote.

Thanks for the use of the hall.

But Another Idiot Doesn't Yet Know It's Time To Quit

The owner of this site cannot be responsible for the consequences that may arise as a result of the hysterics you will experience upon reading the following Newsweek columnn. As it immediately follows the preceding gem predicting a Kerry victory, readers of this blog with weak hearts should allow themselves enough time to recover before proceeding.

[Added Note: In addition to the danger posed by laughter, readers should also be aware of the physical illness they could suffer when they remember that these people are paid for this.]

Ending the Fantasy

By Eleanor Clift

Oct. 29 - Bush pollster Matthew Dowd, unshaven and looking weary, met with print journalists Thursday for one last spin session. For the record, he thinks the president will win, but he sounded so unconvincing that halfway through the hourlong lunch, a reporter said, "OK, so the race is very close and one or the other will win."

When the laughter subsided, Dowd remembered his talking points and said a bit sheepishly, "The lead [of the story you ought to write] is that the election is very close and President Bush is going to win."

Asked to name John Kerry's biggest mistake, Dowd cited the Democratic National Convention where Kerry left himself vulnerable to GOP caricatures by not talking about his Senate career in a positive way. But that was last summer's talking point and Dowd quickly caught himself. Kerry’s biggest mistake, Dowd said, warming to the subject, could turn out to be jumping on the story of the missing 380 tons of deadly explosives out of Iraq.

Bush says Kerry rushed to judgment before he had all the facts on this issue. This is from a president who rushed to war before he had all the facts. Bush is like a pyromaniac who returns to the scene of the crime. This is his fiasco, and it's smart for Kerry to hold Bush accountable. The failure to guard the aptly named Al Qaqaa is emblematic of everything Bush is doing wrong. The administration clearly didn't send enough troops, and now 380 tons of the most dangerous munitions are out there for possible use against U.S. troops.

The Bush team’s response is also emblematic. First, they deny a charge that is undeniably true, that they went into Iraq with insufficient forces. Second, they slime the person telling the truth. Kerry wasn’t faulting U.S. troops for not finding and securing the missing weapons, as Bush asserted. Kerry was attacking the chicken-hawk civilians who brushed aside pleas from the military for more manpower. Third, Bush falls back on the tried and true, pointing to evidence of a cache of deadly explosives to say this proves Saddam really was dangerous. It’s still heresy to say it, but Americans were safer when Saddam was in power. He guarded his high-grade-weapons sites, and just days before the U.S. invasion, the United Nations International Atomic Energy Agency had monitored the site, warning the Bush administration about the potential danger.

Bush is running against the headlines and no amount of spin can make the bad news out of Iraq look good. “He has his finger in the dyke with Iraq, and there was a little leakage this week,” says Marshall Wittmann, a senior fellow with the centrist Democratic Leadership Council. In addition to the revelation about the explosives, Bush’s good friend, Iraqi Prime Minister Ayad Allawi, accused U.S. forces of willful neglect in the deaths of dozens of newly trained Iraqi soldiers gunned down as they traveled in an unarmed and unguarded convoy. Then word leaked that the White House would ask Congress after the election for $70 billion more for Iraq, upping the cost of the war to $225 billion.

Defending Bush is getting harder, but that doesn’t deter the diehards. Conservative talk-show hosts were pushing the theory that Russian trucks hauled the missing explosives to Syria before the war. “And that’s the good news: that it’s not in the hands of insurgents in Iraq, it’s in the hands of terrorists in Syria,” says Wittmann, laughing at the absurdity of the claim. In an effort to throw Bush a lifeline, former New York mayor Rudy Giuliani went on the “Today” show and said what Bush had wrongly accused Kerry of saying—that failure to find and secure the weapons was the troops’ fault. “No matter how you try to blame it on the president, the actual responsibility for it really would be with the troops that were there," said Giuliani. "Did they search carefully enough? Didn’t they search carefully enough?”

It’s hard to game the election with all the conflicting polls, but my prediction is that it will break at the last minute for Kerry. With more than two thirds of the undecided voters saying the country is on the wrong track, Kerry should win. Bush got 47.9 percent of the vote in 2000, and that’s where he is stuck today. A record voter turnout is expected, and that signals change, not four more years of the status quo.

The story that broke late Thursday about the Bush campaign using a doctored photo in an ad should help drive home Kerry’s message in the final days. The image used is reminiscent of Bush’s parading on an aircraft carrier flight deck to declare major combat operations over in Iraq. Here he stands as the commander in chief before cheering troops, except on close examination, the same faces are repeated over and over in the crowd. The ad uses troops as props and manipulates the scene to create a Hollywood computer-generated picture of a war president. Kerry spokesman Joe Lockhart issued a statement demanding that the Bush campaign pull the ad, saying, “Now we know why this ad is named, ‘Whatever it takes'.”

The White House has spent four years creating a fantasy world around Bush. Win or lose on Tuesday, the mistakes Bush has made in Iraq have caught up with him.

posted by Tom | 11/05/2004 11:48:00 AM
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Thursday, November 04, 2004

The Thrill of Victory, The Agony of Defeat
posted by Tom

Some reactions to Election 2004:

Obviously, We Couldn't Be Happier Because Obviously, You're an Asshole

At his website, billioniare Georgy Porgy Soros laments the fortune he poured down the drain that was the Dimocrat campaign:

Obviously, I am distressed at the outcome of the election. I hope, but don't trust, that the second Bush administration will have learned something from the mistakes of the first. What is at stake is our ability to recognize our own fallibility.
Bush is the first president to garner a majority of the popular vote in the last four elections. He's the first president to gain congressional seats upon reelection since FDR. In shellacking a Democratic candidate backed by almost the entire mainstream media, he managed to defeat that mainstream media as well. In three years, he's liberated two countries, killed or captured nearly two thirds of the world's most notorious terror network and reduced its "fearless" raghead leader to broadcasting videotaped infomercials via a fifth-rate Arab television network.

With so many "mistakes" in his first term, Bush has nowhere to go but up.

Oh, please, Jon, please, hold your breath. Here, let me help.

Newsweek columnist, man about town, bon vivant and part-time lady wrestler Jonathan Alter couldn't wait to give the victorious two-term, majority winning, mainstream media defeating George W. Bush his advice for second term success. He slugs his latest gibberish, "Bush Could Bring Us Together", with the following:

"If Bush wants to secure his legacy and defy expectations, he’ll move quickly to the center and stay there. I’m not holding my breath."

Somewhat disappointed that Alter wouldn't suffocate himself, I read on:

...Republicans are now more firmly in charge and will do whatever they can to steamroll the angry opposition. This is the path of arrogance that most re-elected presidents follow, and it’s why second terms (even after landslides) have been more scandal-prone and less productive than first terms for every president since Theodore Roosevelt. Wilson failed with the League of Nations; FDR with the court-packing scheme; Eisenhower stalled; LBJ was brought low by Vietnam; Nixon by Watergate; Reagan by Iran-contra; Clinton by impeachment.
Er, Jon, scandal-prone and less productive second terms have usually occurred when the opposition party controls the Congress. For what it's worth, it was FDR's "court packing scheme" that got his New Deal pushed through Congress. But with his own party "firmly in charge", Bush doesn't much have to worry about Congress engineering phony impeachable offenses (Iran-Contra), and as he and his family are not trailer trash, but possess dignity and class, we don't have to worry about slimy land deals, illegally seized FBI files of opponents, lying under oath in civil suits and blowjobs from interns in the White House, among other things.

Bush has broken every "truism" morons like Alter were convinced would bring him down in '04: No President with a "shakey economy", a "military disaster" and approval ratings below 50% could win re-election. To paraphrase Santayana, Jon, those hack columnists who think history always repeats itself are doomed to look like smacked asses.

Jonathan's cry for help: "Stop me before I write again!"

Not A Stupid Liberal Pantywaist This Time, But An Otherwise Smart Conservative Lady

I think Peggy Noonan is a little too gracious about John Kerry's graciousness in defeat. In her most recent Wall Street Journal column, So Much to Savor , Noonan found Kerry's concession a "moving sight" :

His talking about his "good conversation" with the president was gracious and helpful. He was honest about the facts of the vote in Ohio. When he thanked his people from the bottom of his heart it was a real thanks. "Thanks to Democrats and Republicans and Independents. . . . Thanks to everyone who voted." "Don't lose faith, what you did made a difference . . . and building on itself . . . the time will come when your votes, your ballots, will change the world. And it's worth fighting for." A lot of pundits and editorialists are going to say, 'His best speech of the campaign was his last.' But that's not the point.

Correct, that isn't the point. The point is that this is another example of the elitist, obnoxious, self-righteous arrogance of Kerry and liberals in general. "Don't lose faith ... the time will come when your votes, your ballots, will change the world"? The terrible world that George Bush and conservative Republicans created needed changing, and while the efforts of the righteous may have fallen short this time in rescuing everyone from the evil of Bush and conservatism, don't lose heart. The time will come when those illegally registered voters and invalid provisional ballots and forged documents and bogus news stories will win the day. The liberal lamp will shine again!

You're a nice woman, Peggy, but Kerry and his minions deserved every humiliating moment of Election 2004.

posted by Tom | 11/04/2004 11:42:00 AM
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Wednesday, November 03, 2004

Conciliatory My Aunt Tilly's Posterior
posted by Tom

Sorry, folks, but I'm not one for this forgive and forget, the election's over, let's all exchange phone numbers, meet at some leather bar and swap spouses stuff. My personal feeling is that John Kerry and George Bush are free to kiss and make up and begin the healing of the nation, but conservatives, particularly conservative Republicans, would do well to keep in mind exactly what would have happened today had John Kerry emerged the victor.

Anyone with two synapses firing simultaneously knows that had Kerry won, mainstream liberal media would be reporting on every celebration around the globe - in Paris, Berlin, London, particularly in the Arab "street", with the usual gang of unemployed Moslem morons and thugs firing their AK-47s in the air. Rest assured that a pious New York Times post-election editorial would have announced the repudiation of Bush's "illegitimate" presidency and right wing "extremism". Dan Rather's use of forged documents along with the other sleazy media tactics employed in the service of the Kerry campaign would have been completely vindicated. Within a year, Hollywood would have produced the epic "Swift Boat in Hell", an homage to John Kerry's heroic three and a half months in Viet Nam starring Brad Pitt.

Anyone who doubts the above need only consider the fact these clowns were soiling their panties with glee when the first bogus exit polls were disseminated by partisan AP hacks yesterday afternoon in a last ditch effort to tilt the election in Kerry's favor.

Now, of course, they want to unite.

Unite this.

Conservatives should remember all of this conciliatory bullshit when Michael Moore's next fakeumentary about Bush/Conservatives/Republicans is released and lefty clowns are praising its truth in mainstream liberal media and the blogosphere. Remember it when Dan Rather and his colleagues concoct their next bogus stories. Remember it the next time moveon.dorks morph Bush into Hitler on their web site. Remember it when you listen to dopes like Al Franken and Bill Maher insult the intelligence of Bush and middle America.

I've resisted gloating over Bush's victory, though God knows no one derserves to have their noses rubbed in their own shit more than the hateful liberals who did everything they could to steal this election. Basically, all I'm doing here is pointing out the obvious: The opposite result last night would have found them ecstatic over having been handed the deed to the entire country to turn it into a left wing theme park.

President Bush is the one who should gloat, but he's far too classy for that. No, he will set about "healing the wounds" of this "bitter campaign." And may I suggest the perfect vehicle to kick off that healing process?

I think the very first official state dinner Bush hosts in the White House in 2005 should be in honor of the Swift Boat Veterans for Truth and the POWs who did more than any other independent group to swing the election in favor of the right guy.

And, hell, to prove he is a uniter and not a divider, so as not to alienate "moderates", and to avoid the inevitable chest beating New York Times editorial decrying his "mean spiritedness", he can invite John Kerry and that soulful Republican Senator who is always willing to reach across the aisle to the loyal opposition even when it means selling out his own party and president, John McCain.

After all, Bush needs to make us whole again.

posted by Tom | 11/03/2004 02:02:00 PM
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Another Democrat Fantasy
posted by Bathus

It's now after three o'clock in the morning on November 3rd.

Bush is leading in Ohio by more than 145,000 votes, with 99% of precincts reporting. That victory margin has been growing as the last votes trickle in. Abstentee ballots, a clear majority of which will go for Bush, have not yet been fully counted. Bush will win Ohio, and by winning Ohio, Bush will win the election. This is a practical certainty.

Ohio state election officials report that there are at most 175,000 provisional ballots. The actual number of provisional ballots is probably closer to 125,000. In the 2000 election, 90% of provisional ballots were deemed valid under Ohio law. (This time around, the validity of provisional ballots will be decided under federal law, which is more stringent than the Ohio law that was applicable to provisional ballots in the 2000 election.) Assuming for the sake of argument that in this election there really are 175,000 provisional Ohio ballots and all those provisional ballots are valid (an extraordinarily unlikely assumption), 83% of those provisional ballots would have to go for Kerry for him to overcome Bush's 140,000 vote lead. If, as is more likely, only 90% of the provisional ballots are valid, 92% of those ballots would have to have Kerry's name on them. If you add absentee ballots to the mix, Kerry would have to win virtually every valid provisional ballot. If there are only 125,000 provisional ballots, a Kerry victory is not only a practical impossibility, but also a mathematical impossibility.

In other words, as a practical reality, Kerry cannot win Ohio. Kerry cannot win this election.

A few minutes ago, the Kerry camp sent John Edwards bounding out to announce that they will fight to make sure that "every vote is counted" and that victory will be theirs if every vote is counted. In support of the Kerry fantasy and with the aid of interviews with left wing lawyers and "analysts," the MSM have been strenuously pretending that Kerry could receive enough votes from provisional ballots to change the Ohio result.

Why do the MSM continue this pretense?

Not because they believe that Kerry can actually win--that is a practical impossibility. They support the pretense because they wish to cast doubt on the legitimacy of Bush's victory.

Consider the evidence: Although Bush leads Kerry in Ohio by 145,000 votes out of 5.4 million votes cast, CBS, ABC, and AP are still refusing to "call" Ohio for Bush. By contrast, Kerry leads Bush in Pennsylvania by only 125,000 votes out of 5.6 million votes cast, yet the MSM "called" Kerry the winner in Pennsylvania several hours ago. Why do the MSM think Bush's win in Ohio more doubtful than Kerry's victory in Pennsylvania? Because generating doubt in Ohio is necessary to support the Kerry fantasy. Meanwhile, though they clearly now wish they hadn't, NBC did "call" Ohio for Bush earlier this evening, but NBC is now refusing to "call" Nevada for Bush, even though Bush leads Kerry in that state by 3% with 99% of the vote recorded. Several other states have been "called" on slimmer margins. But now NBC won't call Nevada because, having already projected Bush the winner in Ohio, NBC can't bring itself to acknowledge the clear Bush victory in Nevada because that would put him above the 269 electoral votes needed for victory. These shenanigans make it clear that the MSM's purpose is not to exercise caution to ensure the integrity of the election, but to try to continue for another four years the now habitual Democrat fantasy that "Bush stole the election."

Yes, the Dems with the help of the MSM can drag this out and keep Bush's certain re-election victory from becoming "official" for another ten days or so. But the truth is it's all over but the crying.

Will the Dems cry less ten days from now?

Somehow I don't think so.

posted by Bathus | 11/03/2004 02:33:00 AM
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Tuesday, November 02, 2004

Remembering What Matters
posted by Bathus

I think Bush will win.

I hope Bush will win.

I pray Bush will win.

But what if Bush does not win?

A friend of mine, a yellow dog Democrat, likes to tell me that Bush will never be his president.

Swallowing my disgust, I always answer him emphatically, "I pray every night that Kerry will not win. But if Kerry does win, he will be my president."

If Kerry wins, and I pray he does not, he will be my president because our death struggle with Islamofascism trumps everything else. Unlike too many of our left-wing citizens (such as the gracious author of this comment) who would accept, hope for, and even work for an American defeat if it would aid the defeat of George Bush, I would find no consolation in a failed Kerry presidency.

If Kerry wins, and I pray he does not, I shall never seek consolation in the words "I told you so" because a failed Kerry presidency would mean that my beloved country's fight against the terrorists would also be a failure.

If Kerry wins, and I pray he does not, I will do everything in my meager power to encourage him to fight the terrorists vigorously.

If Kerry wins, and I pray he does not, I will do everything in my meager power to ensure that, insofar as our struggle against the terrorists is concerned, Kerry's presidency is not merely successful, but is magnificently successful.

If Kerry wins, and I pray he does not, if he will lead I will follow. No, I will not silently follow him off a cliff. But I will not try to drive him of a cliff, and I will not cheer if, despite my best efforts, he goes off a cliff on his own.

If Kerry wins, and I pray he does not, I will still criticize and oppose him openly and strongly on domestic issues. Yet even on domestic matters I will not join in any criticism that significantly weakens his capacity to lead this nation in war. As to his leadership in the war, before criticizing him, I will use my best judgment to determine whether my criticism is more likely to contribute to positive change in war policy or will simply publicly undermine his capacity to lead the nation in war. If the latter, I will moderate my criticism and seek a discrete way to offer it more effectively.

If Kerry wins, and I pray he does not, I shall never forget what matters most, my beloved country, this "last best hope":
Fellow-citizens, we cannot escape history. We . . . will be remembered in spite of ourselves. No personal significance, or insignificance, can spare one or another of us. The fiery trial through which we pass, will light us down, in honor or dishonor, to the latest generation. We say we are for the Union. The world will not forget that we say this. We know how to save the Union. The world knows we do know how to save it. We -- even we here -- hold the power, and bear the responsibility. In giving freedom to the slave, we assure freedom to the free -- honorable alike in what we give, and what we preserve. We shall nobly save, or meanly lose, the last best hope of earth. Other means may succeed; this could not fail. The way is plain, peaceful, generous, just -- a way which, if followed, the world will forever applaud, and God must forever bless.

Now please go vote for George Bush, and make this post the most irrelevant thing I've ever written in my entire life.

posted by Bathus | 11/02/2004 01:45:00 PM
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Monday, November 01, 2004

Criswell Predicts ...
posted by Tom

Dan Rather, Peter Jennings and Tom Brokaw call states for Kerry during tonight's evening news broadcasts. CBS This Morning declares Kerry the winner at 7:00 a.m. on Tuesday. NBC and ABC, citing journalistc standards, wait until Tuesday afternoon.

Looking ahead to 2005, Congress conducts hearings intended to establish guidelines for network presidential election coverage. The FCC proposes a regulation stating that the networks are forbidden from announcing the Democrat the winner of the presidential election sooner than the Democratic National Convention.

But seriously, folks, I predict a Bush victory.

I also predict that CNN's Jeff Greenfield will bore everyone to tears with his pretentious statements of the obvious from the moment the network's election coverage begins until the last electoral dog dies.

Some predictions are easier to make than others.

posted by Tom | 11/01/2004 03:01:00 PM
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