In my pre-election projection I got every state right except one, Wisconsin, which I picked for Bush:

Bush wins all his 2000 states except New Hampshire, and he adds New Mexico, Iowa, and Wisconsin to his column to win the electoral vote 296 - 242.

But hang on just a dern second . . . the latest unofficial tally shows Bush trailing in Wisconsin by less than twelve thousands votes out of some 2,992,390 votes cast. That's a margin of less than one half of one percent.

Sadly, I had not anticipated the depths to which the Democrats would sink to deny me the honor of a perfect prophecy. I'm talking about the Democrats' Wisconsin campaign of intimidation. It appears that Michael Pratt (who just happens to be the adult son of former Milwaukee Mayor Marvin Pratt) and Sowande Omokunde (who likes to go by the name Supreme Solar Allah and just happens to be the adult son of Wisconsin state senator Gwen Moore) were somehow involved in allegedly slashing the tires of 20 vans that Milwaukee Republicans had rented to ferry their voters to the polls. A Milwakee paper is reporting that:

Milwaukee police are thoroughly investigating the slashing of tires on election day of 20 cars and vans rented to the Republican Party to take voters to the polls. Opel E. Simmons III, veteran Democratic Party activist from Virginia, in town to work on Sen. John Kerry’s presidential campaign, has been arrested in connection with the incident, along with Sowande Omokunde, the son of state Sen. Gwen Moore, who was elected to Congress Tuesday. Both were released. Sources told the Journal Sentinel that police also plan to talk to Michael Pratt, the son of former Acting Milwaukee Mayor Marvin Pratt.

Do the math: You gotta figure each of those 20 vans could have made four trips per hour to the polls during the twelve hours the polls were open, with ten Bush voters aboard for each trip.

20 vans x 12 hours x 4 trips per hour x 10 voters per trip
=
9,600 disenfranchised Bush voters

That leaves Bush only a couple of thousand votes away from Victory in Wisconsin, and we haven't even started talking about the allegedly-late-arriving military absentee ballots that were probably thrown into the dumpster two minutes after the polls closed.

According to the Wisconsin State Election Board, the official Wisconsin results won't be known until "after the canvass is certified by December 1, 2004." Between now and then--and the sooner the better--we need to parachute a couple of divisions of Republican lawyers into Madison and fan them out into all the various county seats to secure the ballots, to file a few hundred lawsuits, and to do whatever else election lawyers do to ensure that John Kerry doesn't try to steal Wisconsin's ten electoral votes.

It's vital that all the votes in Wisconsin be counted, and there's something even more important at stake here: Dammit, I picked Wisconsin for Bush, and now Kerry's criminals are trying to unustly prevent me from being hailed as the most perfectly prescient political prophet. We can't let them get away with it. I've waited four years for this, and I can sure as hell wait another couple of months, or however long it takes, to guarantee that the people of Wisconsin are not denied their rightful voice in our electoral process.

Every vote must count. Every vote must be counted.